Argh! I just recently realized that my blog archives are not working. Not that I expect hoards of people have been trying to read my oh-so-scintillating older posts, but it annoys me nonetheless. Hopefully I can fix that without spending too many hours grumbling in front of my computer. Also, Celia is debuting a new blog on her site, so you should go stop by and say hello to her.

Things I learned today…

1. There really isn’t any grant money available for history students until you start writing your dissertation, so hurry up and start writing your dissertation before your program cuts you off.

2. Watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose such that you finish at just around 3 am is not the smartest thing for people with overactive imaginations.

3. As evidenced in the comments on the previous post, Jess is alive!

So, #1 explains why I wasn’t terribly productive today. Rather, it explains why my attempt to be productive ended in disappointment and frustration. #2 explains why I am sitting here now, eating some strange granola cereal that Trev surely forgot he ever bought, trying not to keep looking over my shoulder every time I hear a creak or groan somewhere in the apartment. I know, I know. Pretty wussy for a horror movie fanatic/zombie extra, but I can’t help it. I already run around the apartment like Smokey the Bear whenever my neighbors burn their dinner–now instead of attributing my smells hallucinations to a brain tumor, I’m going think that demonic possession is iminent. At least my paranoia draws on a truly diverse range of fears. Finally, in response to #3, I’ve dug up my old Deardorf game. Ah yes, back in the day I used to make terrible, terrible flash games for my site. The Deardorf was one of them. I think you need to shoot the Deardorf about 5 times to win or something (although it’s worth it to lose too). Yeah, that’s some quality programming & animation there. I wish I could tell people I was 6 instead of over 16 when I made it. Oh well…

Well, truthfully, I love onions and all their tasty goodness. What I hate is chopping them. I know that a really nasty onion can make everyone’s eyes water, but when I chop onions, tears just stream down my face. More than once, people have seen me post-onion-chopping and thought that a family member had died–that’s how terrible I look once I’ve been around a few juicy onions.

But this evening, after griping about a particularly nasty onion, I learned that there’s something far worse out there: jalapeños. Now, I was not totally ignorant of the jalapeño’s malicious ways when I started working with one this evening. I knew I wanted to remove the seeds so as not to overspice my dinner. And I knew that I should wash my hands afterwards so I didn’t accidentally get spicy jalapeño juice in my eyes. What I did not know was that jalapeños are evil, evil beasts that can spread their firey pain regardless of vigorous handwashing. They can make your poor, unsuspecting face and feel like it’s going to burn off when the sneaky capsaicin somehow infilitrates your innocent little mucous membranes. And then later, once your face has finally stopped feeling like it’s being dissolved by acid, that’s when your fingers will start burning, even though you only chopped up one stupid tiny little jalapeño. Now, of course, after having done my research and read other people’s horrible experiences, I know that I should either wear gloves, or make Trevor deal with the jalapeños (no, I’m not just being mean–he seems to be unaffected by them, or he has some special technique that he’s just never told me about). Either way, I strongly caution all you jalapeño-prepping virgins out there to avoid the vicious little bastards!!

P.S. As per the suggestions on another website, I actually did find that bleach did provide significant relief from the jalapeño burn. Bleach must, of course, be used with great caution and washed off completely, but in a jalapeño emergency, I found it to be worth it.

I have officially changed my cyber-name from the rather generic “master” to the much more fitting R. Batty. Yay! It might be a somewhat riskier name to use since I don’t exactly want uninvited visitors to easily know who I am and R. Batty just pegs me for the history geek that I am. But it’s such a perfect name, I just have to use the name somewhere!!! And while I am *so* tempted to use it as my professional name, I don’t want to hurt my parents’ feelings by telling them I’ve rejected my perfectly nice, normal middle name for the more eclectic “batty.” So I am taking my chances and christening my alter-cyber-ego R. Batty, and that’s all there is to it.

Speaking of cyber-egos, I feel like I ventured out into a new world today. I posted a comment on the blog of someone I’ve never met. Gasp! Okay, I guess that really isn’t all that strange or adventurous. In fact, I think part of the fun of having a blog sometimes is getting comments from unexpected people. But I generally only read (regularly anyway) and comment on the blogs of people who I actually know in the flesh and blood. However, thanks to Kim over at francophoney, I’ve been lurking around the blogs of kyliemac and the aussielass for a while now. Granted, this means they’re not complete strangers to me if you look at it in that six-degrees-of-separation way, since they know Kim and I know Kim and that’s only one teeny little degree of separation. Hell, I’ve even actually met kyliemac once, although I was sick at the time and mostly slept on her floor (what a way to make a first impression!) Still, listening to their charming little podcast and reading about their day-to-day adventures has always made me feel just a teensy bit voyueristic. I guess even after posting a comment, I still feel voyueristic, but at least I’m coming out of the closet about it, so to speak.