confessions of a LOTR hater: the conclusion
June 16, 2008Yes, I have been an unfaithful chronicler. I suspect, however, that the tedious details of my recent exploits will be missed by none, and yet it seems that some update is long overdue. So what better way to make up for my prolonged silence than with a confession? I suppose this is actually more an admission than a confession, but it’s still something that will undoubtedly come back to haunt me, so please take as much perverse pleasure in it as you can.
I dressed up like a wizard for the end of the year party for the Tolkien class.
I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in.
Never let it be said that I am not, occasionally, a good sport. I still do not get the appeal of Tolkien’s works really. I don’t know if it’s because they are too Christian for me, or that hobbits and elves just aren’t my kind of escapism, or that I never found a character in the books that I really liked. But I’ve never been one to fear wearing a costume, and whether the situation calls for a headless horsemen, a pretty pretty princess, or a purple wizard with a staff, I’m willing to take one for the team and make it happen.
Happily, I have no pictures of the incident. And the only person who does has been warned of the consequences of leaking them. So you readers will just have to be content with using your imaginations to conjure up the image of your beloved Batty wearing a purple robe and a black cape and carrying a mighty wooden wizarding staff.
Now please stop rolling on the floor laughing…
I would greatly appreciate a picture of you as a “pretty pretty princess”. Or I would when I can breathe again after rolling around on the ground and clutching my belly in hysterics.
Comment by SinCityFemme — June 17, 2008 @ 6:30 pm
Pretty Pretty Princess! Pretty Pretty Princess!
Comment by Karen — June 17, 2008 @ 8:53 pm
I told you that you should have gone as a zombie Hobbit. But I’m sure that you made a formidable wizard. And Dude, where can you pick up a wizard’s staff in Chicago? I need me some wizard’s staff. (For my terrifying zombie ninja ensemble, of course.)
Comment by dana — June 18, 2008 @ 7:01 am
I would pay lots of money to see you as a Pretty Pretty Princess. Lots. Money I don’t even have. I would do… I don’t know… *illegal things* to get whatever amount of money it would take to see you be a Pretty Pretty Princess.
Comment by Celia — June 19, 2008 @ 5:12 pm
I think it is no coincidence that 3/4 of us (4/5 including myself) have picked up on the Pretty Pretty Princess theme and are now demanding to see this. You did state in your post that you are game for dressing as whatever the occasion calls for - and at this point, I think it is accurate to say that the occasion calls for a Pretty Pretty Princess!!!
Comment by Sam — June 20, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
Sorry kids, the Pretty Pretty Princess bit has already been done (and done spectacularly, I might add–pink dress, long blond wig, the works!), and I don’t do repeat performances. If you want photographic evidence, you’re going to have to hunt down some counselors from the obscure Girl Scout camp in Germany that I worked for one summer.
And Dana, the answer to your question is: on the ground at the corner of Woodlawn and 54th. That’s where you can miraculously find a wizard staff a mere two days before your hobbit party. I think I may have to dub that corner the Corner of Requirement.
Comment by R. Batty — June 23, 2008 @ 10:21 am
In Germany, you say? I think I know what kind of research I’ll be doing over here this year: Pretty Pretty Princess Pictures research.
Comment by Celia — June 30, 2008 @ 2:51 am
Ha ha! Let me know if you’re successful in tracking those photos down–I’m pretty sure *I* don’t even have pictures of the incident.
Comment by R. Batty — July 3, 2008 @ 7:28 pm